Paste has become a terrible magazine

Over my 3 year subscription to Paste Magazine, this year I’ve watched it fall from its status of an enlightened Entertainment Weekly  to becoming as vapid as Entertainment Weekly, but without the topicality or access. They also now take about 8 minutes to read cover-to-cover.

First, there was the layout change. If used to be staid, at least it made sense. Now it looks like the half-assed product of a coked-up student-run high school newspaper that hasn’t yet learned exactly to use its new layout program.

Second, there’s what they said about Cormac McCarthy.

Nihilism is now so universally confused with profundity that even the serious literary establishment can’t see that Cormac McCarthy is really just Stephen King without the entertainment value.

What!?! This is more wrongheaded than calling Marcel Proust just a scribomanic shut-in or Moby Dick just an unfocused travelogue.

And now, its annual top 25 list. Strike 3, I’m done.

My Mourning Jacket’s Evil Urges at 16? Of Montreal’s Skeletal Lamping at 12! Hold Steady’s Stay Positive at 11!?! Okkervil River’s The Stand Ins at 5???

These are all great bands and decent albums, but these are not their best efforts. And compared to best efforts that don’t even rank (Frightened Rabbit! The Kills! Thao! King Kahn! Wolf Parade! The Ruby Suns! Vivian Girls! Lambchop! Black Mountain! The Dodos! Mount Eerie!) makes it all the more apparent the Paste staff got lazy and gave out some easy passes to these typical end-of-the-year listmakers.

And Girl Talk at 7!!! Is some kind of statement? Do these people even like music?

Even though I hate it, I’m expecting high rankings for the Jar Jar Binks of Indie Rock. So no surprise they show up at 3. Whatever.

Then, She and Him…the album of the year?!!? Sure, it’s easily likeable, so maybe it was easy to build consensus. But they’re the Alan Thicke of Indie Rock: blandly handsome. Try not getting bored after 4 spins. Compare with Bon Iver (#4) or Deerhunter (#10) and it’s not even in the same league. And shouldn’t Zooey Deschanel pay for the The Happening?

Plus, the Reigning Sound may still put out an album this year. No accounting for that possibility whatsoever.

I throw up my hands, Paste. If I can still name my price for a subscription, I want all my exclamation points back.

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Jerry Grit’s Year in Albums #4: April-July (Part 2)

No question vast and ambiguous forces conspire against me today.  Not only have the unrepentant thieves at another “blog” stolen my project and format, but ipod #5 is giving me that mocking “you’re fucked” sad face when i try to start it. Bullets are flying but I am not going down. I’m like the invincible malcontent Clive Owen in “Shoot’Em Up”.  They’re coming at me from left and the right, from up and down, and I’m taking them out with a sneer and carrots. But unlike “Shoot’Em Up”, I am not terrible. So with my cold burnt coffee, music coming from the dinky 12-year old computers speakers (now the only way to access my vast and impressively organized library…my cutting-edge soundsystem now so much a useless objet d’art in the wake of ipod #5 demise), I trudge on bravely. For from those dinky speakers, I hear…

  • Earlimart – Hymn and Her I just got this on the morning of this awful Sunday, but it just may redeem it. Haven’t even listened to it thought it completely. I’m on “Before It Gets Better” and I think I’ve found July 13th’s soundtrack. Poppy, but soft with a melancholy touch. But it might be forgettable. Still, canon-bound.
  • Lou Reed – Transformer Lou is one of the few gaps in my collection I’m endeavoring to fill. And I think I did pretty well by starting here. Not all the tunes have aged. “New York Telephone Conversation” is like some kind of joke that may have been kind of funny 30 years ago. I don’t recall Lou being know for his wit, anyways. Nonetheless, “Vicious” and “Perfect Day” are awesome. And they all hang together nicely.  Who knew? The MST3K spaceship is named after track #7. Very near canonical.
  • Au – Verbs Weird. Chanting, unexpected changes. Fractured song structures, if there are any. Nice choice for your neighborhood opium den.
  • Boris – Smile There’s a time and a place for progressive Japanese metal. Unfortunately, they are not now and here. However, I do recall being at work at 8:15am and having “KA RE HA TE TA SA KI-No One Grieve” move me to pump my fist with gritted teeth.
  • Santogold – Santogold I’m not too well plugged into the popular music scene, but I think she’s becoming pretty mainstream. Believe it or not highschool friends, I can enjoy mainstream things. (Dreamgirls is my favorite movie…U2 and Coldplay are pretty awesome…and can’t get enough of “Friends”…Oh, sorry. I’m lying.) I also hear a lot of MIA references. I hear MIA, but more I hear Cyndi Lauper. But a lot cooler. “Lights Out” is a summer fav.
  • My Morning Jacket – Evil Urges Everybody needs to calm down. I refuse to ride the bus that has thrown MMJ under it. I may be the only unfilthy not-high person who actually likes “Highly Suspicious”. It’s not that bad. Admittedly some misfires. Not too sure I’m ready to revisit UB40 and the Fine Young Cannibals. But like Rilo Kiley’s equally disparaged Under the Black Light, there are some standouts. Try denying “I’m amazed”. This is a great band trying something different.

 

Ack. Now my laptop is crapping out and I have 47 albums to go. Great. Another crappy chapter in this crappy day has begun. Screw it. I’m going for a run. And I will get hit by a bus. Probably the same one filled with all the MMJ haters distracted by making fun of “Librarian” (which is pretty ridiculous, but an easy target). C’mon haters, watch where you’re going.

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